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Subject:Other than bitch-slapping...
Time:08:47 am
As I've mentioned before, my daughter is 16 months old.

She sucks her thumb.

It doesn't bother us (thumbs are easy to clean, never get lost and never need to be replaced). It doesn't bother her pediatrician -- who says if she gets to the point where thumbsucking interferes with denture fit, THEN there's a problem. Hell, I sucked mine until I was...6? She only does it when she's unsure about something or tired.

My problem is total strangers who see fit to belittle my daughter for sucking her thumb. "What's a big girl like you doing sucking her thumb?" Usually loudly. She's 95 percentile height and already in some 3T's, so she is very big for her age.

What's worse are the total strangers who will actually reach out and slap her hand away from her mouth!

Besides bitch-slapping someone, what do I do?
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theal8r
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 08:06 am (UTC)
First would be to tell them firmly to not slap your daughter. Holy crap! I cna't believe people would do that.
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paigemom
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 08:17 am (UTC)
They don't when my husband is around -- he's rather big and scary-looking (to some people). But yes, they have pulled her thumb out of her mouth, or slapped it out, right in front of me.
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weavingfire
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 09:16 am (UTC)
I would be uber pissed if someone I didn't know touched my child, let alone chastised him or her!
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mzwyndi
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 08:08 am (UTC)
My son was greater than 97th percentile at that age, but with an average-sized head. The effect made him look like he was much, much older than he actually was -- and total strangers assumed that he was retarded or slow wherever we went. I mean, nothing like a 30 lb. 9-month-old who stares and blinks at strangers who expect him to speak in complete sentences.

As a pre-emptive strike, I caught myself saying, "Isn't he amazing for his age...?!" and then sharing that piece of information. I also, gently, corrected people who said things about his size. "Oooh, what a BIG BOY you are" is NOT the subconcious message we'd like to see built here. "Yes, he's very tall for his age," said with the right tone, put a lot of folks right back on track.
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paigemom
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Time:2006-04-14 08:19 am (UTC)
I've had that problem, too. People think she's 3 and look at her funny when she's not *quite* walking well yet.

Another problem is there is a very large hispanic population around here, and the babies/toddlers tend to be on the small or just-at-average size. So my kid looks like a behemoth in comparison.
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mzwyndi
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 08:44 am (UTC)
*nod* Yes, the bigger children walk later than the others, on top of it. So he was slightly behind the curve on the physical skill of walking, but big enough we were worried if we'd run out of diaper sizes before he toilet-trained. OTOH, I'm 5'10" in my stocking feet. No one wonders where he got his height...

So, like I said, some pre-emptive assertions about her age will help with the, you know, judgement making. And the stern evil-eye when they say anything negative about her age/size will help. Hitting your child's hand away from her mouth? Well, I don't know. No one is dumb enough to have tried that with me. Maybe because I am a behemoth in comparison to most moms?
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paigemom
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 09:19 am (UTC)
Tall, a house full of slippery floors, and a behemoth dog that, er, tends to knock her down a lot.

She's got two great grandfathers who topped 6'8" and her dad is 6'1.

She's only in size 4 diapers. We're praying a lot.
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mzwyndi
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 09:24 am (UTC)
I swear, they slow down. You hit the size 5s and they just... they start growing UP instead of out, I guess.
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srain
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 08:54 am (UTC)
Why were we against the bitch slapping again?

My son is 16 months too and is 95% for height so I know where you're coming from. I think the pre-emptive assertions might work well though.
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countryjim13
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 09:09 am (UTC)
Instead of bitch slapping them, just tell them you will bitch slap them if they dare to touch your child in that manner again. Say it really meanly.
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weavingfire
Subject:personally
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 09:18 am (UTC)
I would say "well, she usually sucks her toes, but it's hard to do that when she has her booties on..."
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paigemom
Subject:Re: personally
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 09:20 am (UTC)
No that one I like...

(mopping up keyboard now)
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moon_ferret
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 12:08 pm (UTC)
I have one the same age. No one has ever said anything to me about the binkey, but he is in the 25th percentile and small.

Good lord, I don't know. I ignore hammerheads or give them the look. Or end every sentace with, "...but thanks for the thought, fucktard".

But then again, I have anger issues apparently.
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paigemom
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 12:11 pm (UTC)
I like that one, too. Is that him in the icon> He's adorable!
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moon_ferret
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-14 12:15 pm (UTC)
Yep, that's little bear.

I went back and read my post. Holy crap, where was spell checker when I hit the post button on THAT whole thing.

I have also asked people if they work for DFS, then ask if they are my pediatrician, then say with a puzzled look, "Mom?" then look them dead in the eye and say, "Nope. None of those things. So you? Wander away. Thanks."
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sirenewitch
Link:(Link)
Time:2006-04-19 11:02 am (UTC)
Did we say why we were against the bitch slapping??

ya I think I definitely would have smacked her back. I can imagine you must have been in total shock. My grandmother tried to yank my oldest's pacifier out of his mouth when he was a baby....when he started to howl, I just handed him to her....you made him cry, you make him stop. Oddly enough, she popped it back into his mouth and handed him back to me. Never happened again.
Not the same, I know but man! I am totally outraged for you! Now I might smack someone on the bus on the way home just as way of virtual-karmic retribution for you ;)

Sirene
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